the GREATEST painkiller

Yesterday my hubby and I attending part 2 of our 2 part natural birth intensive class. Taught by a doula, this (in my opinion) has been the best thing we've done so far to prepare for Nōweo's birth. 

I learned so much about myself and what my needs are going to be during labor. 

For example: I learned that I really REALLY need my husband's touch. 

It is a WONDERFUL pain killer and floods my body with oxytocin.

I can literally FEEL it.

I learned this because we did an exercise where we hold ice for as long as a typical contraction

about a minute, just to gauge our body's response to pain

it's definitely a learning experience.

Certain things may helpful in coping with the pain

music

touch/massage

aromatherapy

a visual focus

someone talking to you

breathing

chanting

this is what I learned REALLY helps me:

music

closed eyes

breathing

and my husband

we did the ice activity while trying different comfort measures

when our teacher finally asked our partners to touch us

whether it was through massage, holding, back rubbing

...whatever...

my husband asked me what i wanted him to do. I said

"Do what comes naturally."

So he just put his hands on my shoulders, buried his head in my neck and 

breathed - slowly and deeply.

I leaned my head on his and synchronized my breath with his

He didn't say anything, but this is he was telling me:

You're not alone

I'm here

This is our daughter

And I am present to help you help her into this world.

There is no place I'd rather be

I love you.

Consumed by love, I was no longer aware of my hand.

or the pain.

and i cried

well...i teared up...

it was too intimate a moment to talk about at the time, 

which i would've had to do if the class had seen.

in short, i feel soooo soooo safe

and Nōweo is going to LOVE her dad

because i do.

firsts

it goes without saying that the most exciting times in our lives often are the firsts.

first day at school

first time riding a bike

first kiss

first job

first house.

our firsts are all centered around number one: me

but in waiting for my daughter to enter my life, firsts no longer become about me, but 

about her. 

the first time i saw that positive pregnancy test and knew 

life would never be the same

because now SHE is in it.

the first time we heard her heart beat

the first time we saw her little 12 week old body

already so human.

the first time i felt her little flutters in my belly.

the first signs of new life.

the first time her father said her name

Nōweo

Pregnancy has brought so many firsts into my life, 

but they are her firsts too. 

and now I live for her.

to watch her have her firsts.

first cry

first smile

first steps.

and i am content to watch her blossom

because as she does, so do i.